Its' like the feeling of numbness, cold is the world around.
you look at the sky and you are just left gazing into nothingness at all,
thats when the world looks at you as a sole creature,
striving struggling and trying to live up to your own life.
thats what I have been doing, trying to live up to my own self...
Today when the biggest obstacles of my life are done with...
when thanks to HIS grace , I achieved the unexpected !!!!
here I stand on my roof with wet eyes, an unsaid feeling,
an unsaid thought, me n only me,
with only a few besides me comforting me in their own ways,
For this heart of mine knows that I never thought bad for ne1
still they think that i thought of my self
All I do is smile and move forward
with unanswered questions left in my trace
All they see is the smile, that vanishes once they vanish.
They say they understand me!!!
they say that they believe me...
They call when they need me....
but then I blab...everything I did for them
everything they told....
for this heart knows that it never said a thing to hurt
for this heart hurts wen they say, nothing should he be told....
skeptical, pessimists as they are, and the sanguinity which I try n impart....
And they say nothing should I be told....
They say they are with me, wonder why they don't say me "the stranger"
Then I had the girlfriend....
Love was wat she did....
Love is wat she does...
small,mild n meek...
she was the one which I never understood,
confused, discomforted, insecure, and unassured I lived,
as her past haunted me, her present haunted me
and our future was not the sight to look for!!
she believed I was the one....
And I got late to believe, to understand that she wasn't the one..!!!
disgust, anger, uncertainty, hopelessness, prevailed as I let her with me...
uneasy as i was, I requested her the exit...
in the process I went through the doors.....
they say that they haven't seen a bigger ass then me...
loser!!!!
lolz..
i hate that word but thats what everyone thinks even though they don't say...
I moved out of hell, i saved her from hell...
no bad thoughts, no sad events, i was cold.....!!!
I saw her tears, i saw her begging, but i was the rock.....
coz I believed in heaven not the hell I lived in n what I cud make out for her life....
a second chance... is like reopening the doors of thought, and compromise,
n discussions , which are the never ending GAS!!!!!!
they say I was selfish, I was foolish...
yes i am...!!
n I am filled...to the brink...
they say that they are with me....
now the thought process continues.....
my b'day jus 24 hrs from now....
makes me feel the sadness,
as i feel lonely on this lonely planet....
i feel like running away from the adventures which i have alwaz looked forward to...
i feel like crying my heart out to my dearest whoz not here with me....
i feel like flying...off to where i belong.... in th busy worldz..
from where i came....where evryonez the same...
the solitude,the formalities, n the materialism shakes me within....
all i hav is jus a bunch of people, some who strive to know me,
some who believe they know me,
n some who actually know me more than myself...
n the rest have their own notions.....
2day i stand on the edge of my roof waiting for the wind to push me forward
into the nothingness of this non existent world,
with moon shining above my head n the stars gazing my descent,
all i hear is the sound of my angel,
who holds me by my arms, hugs me , smiles....
"trying to do a titanic alone".....
and as if all the thoughts, all the simplicity,the smile return from no where...!!!
i luk in his eyes,without he realising it...wipe off the drops from the corners.....
hold my brothers hands n fly back to my world...
sometimes a few things end without a word being said, and without a thought being processed!!
