Wednesday, June 25, 2008

THE FAIRYTALE

The Fairytale


I was a small kid, I was told about the Santa, about the angels, nanni pari!!!

My mom took me in her arms and sang the tunes of angels, sometimes she called me an angel, sometimes she called for an angel, in her lap I had the deepest slumbers of my life.

She gave me gifts on Christmas. The fat guy in a red dress whom everyone called Santa Claus existed as I imagined him flying over the moon and bringing me my wish.
Mumma loved me, I never knew she was my angel, my Santa!!


Then one fine day I was told that “beta grow up”!! Santa Claus , angels are all fairy tales, which teach about good things which happen to good people, how so much fear they may face initially, but in the end all fell in place. I still remember the “Red Riding Hood” and how much I used to be afraid of the Wolf. But now mumma told me that it was all a story, not reality!!! Disappointed, disgusted, angry, I cried!!! I cried like a baby, and my angel told me that I have grown up, she gave me the first lesson of life….. Disappointment!!!!



The waters fell from the sky as if someone had turned the knob and the shower had to leave the heavy droplets of water like stones thousands in number falling over our heads, our tears were flown off by the rain, by the tears of God himself that day, but still we cried. My angel had left me. Sitting in the rain falling so badly my angel was being cremated, she was going, the fire never took its shape as the Gods cried, we cried, I cried!!!!

My angel was gone and the woods never caught fire, some said that she was not meant to go, even in the last rituals where she laid beneath the woods someone, something was there which dint let her go……

My mom is still somewhere there with me, blessing me time and again, teaching me lessons of this life in small ways. Sometimes I feel her and sometimes in the fog of my work I take her for granted, but she still is there somewhere deep in me, watching me everyday, every second. Somewhere deep inside she gets angry when I smoke, somewhere deep inside she gets disgusted when I lie down gazing the stars drunk and out of senses, but that is the time I feel her, I feel her in me, I feel her in the skies which I gaze . My mom stays somewhere close to me still, though she may not be physically present but I know she’s there; after all I am a part of her.


She went, she taught me another lesson. “Everything in life is not a fairytale”. Good things don’t always happen to good people. Those who have to go eventually have to, absolutely no one can stop them, not me neither the docs. I learned that they couldn’t, my angel who gave me the first lessons of my life again had taught me something, this time by going miles away from me.



My story ain’t a fairy tale one, today I am a grown up, an adult, and all throughout my 21 years I have learned and unlearned so many things. Today I m about to be an engineer I stay thousands of kilometers away from my dad along with my brother in an apartment , one of my seniors too stays with us , all of us party together celebrate the small joys , small sorrows everything together, trusted ,treasured and a valued company I had with my friends. But then my life ain’t a fairy tale…another lesson awaited me and my angel was preparing the bed for me too sleep after my triumph. She knew I would have been tired coz this lesson would be again testing and devastating.


My close friends got their result. It was tough for them, coz if they would not have cleared the papers we would be separated, they’ll fall back an year and I never wanted that!!!! We got the news that one of them had passed, the party plans were already on the move, so sure I was that the other one would also pass , but my castle of cards fell with tears from the eyes of my other friend , unable to console her I had to first console myself, without thinking I dialed phone numbers, I dialed frantically everywhere to make sure of the result till the time I saw it with my eyes, the droplets had arrived, but I had to control, after all I am a guy. Then again I dialed , determined myself that I’ll get her paper cleared, either by hook or crook, but then the castle had fallen, the pack of cards was on the ground and I had to collect them and keep them back from where they came from . My lesson was learn’t . My friend was consoled, she was fine and now she trusts me coz I m her only option, now I m learning to have faith and believe in luck.



My angel knows what I m doing and she is with me still, supporting me,caressing me.

But it doesn’t get over here, police was at my place while I was in my classes, my brother alone at home didn’t realize what happened, my third roommate suspected us of stealing his money. We were devastated, staying together for so long he knew us very well, very close but still he lodged a complaint against us!!

My brother had a practical next day, the police tore apart every inch of my house with me just standing there watching my own room getting raped and my roommate watching and looking at us with a suspicious eye . All the friendship and trust was shoved off in the dust bin, even which was checked thoroughly.

My brother’s face had gone so small, we belonged to a business class family, never in life had the dearth of money, trusted my roomy like I used to trust my elder brother, hoping always that a friendship which would last, but money plays its games and it did!!!


I learned another lesson, the same night I met with an accident. The police had gone and the money was found, my very dear friend himself had given it to some of his acquaintances and forgotten it. I don’t want the police to backlash at him because I am not him, but I learned that money plays its games, that friendship, trust and beliefs are nothing in front of the power of money, though this lesson may be ideally wrong, but my angel knows why I was being taught this lesson, I heard the fairy tales , they were told to me coz they had to be proven wrong some day, I was taught this lesson coz I might prove it wrong some day!!!


That night I cried, I cried in front of my brother, I cried in front of my friend!!! And then once again I slept, I slept in the arms of my angel, with her hands on my head telling me that it would be over the next morning and I slept ,deep and dark…in the arms of my mother, shielded by her and cared by her………






My friend told me that he can’t forget the two days of his life, one when it rained and he lost his mother and the other when he gained himself from a fake friend. He has learned so many things so many lessons so many situations, his angel prepares him time and again for the unknown, something that might cross his way which might be difficult and testing than the previous ones, his angel is there for him always……but I believe he is one lucky guy…who in this materialistic world has an angel with wings, in white attire always flying above him in his good and bad, sheltering him and preparing him for the unknown……

We all are told that fairy tales are just imaginations, but this tale is not one , and its not yet over, its still to go a long way , with his angel guiding him always……

Ain’t this a fairy tale……!!!






Friday, June 13, 2008

the crossing

The Crossing






The morning was as cloudy as it could be. With my city under the leash of a heavy rainfall since the past week, my day started with all those usual things, the repeated rituals of each day, bathing, praying, and then preparing lunch for my children and husband. I 62 yrs of age, still active enough to take care of everyone in my house.


My husband is the president of an eminent society in Nagpur, and I m the proud lady behind him. Life is so beautiful, everyone is so busy with their worlds around them but still happy enough to lead their lives with a smile and follow the daily rituals.

Somehow it all started in the afternoon; my husband who celebrated his 75th b’day a few months ago was waiting for me at the lunch. I just drove nearby, to the bank, though it’s just walking distance, but I thought of driving, even though the weather was beautiful for a walk, but at such an age one definitely avoids walking, moreover i had my scooty there!


My work was complete now, before leaving home, I remembered telling my husband “ Keep the doors open for me, we’ll have lunch together “ and now I was about to be with him, because these were a few moments, few ways we loved each other, that’s how you do it being married for so many years. I turned on the ignition and slowly chose my path. I wanted to be home early, so avoided a hundred meter long u-turn and something inside me just told me to choose the wrong way, the way on which the traffic goes the other side, there wasn’t much danger though as the traffic was less and I drove briskly towards my apartment.


Finally I reached the crossing, I reached the turning from where I had to turn towards my house where my husband and my son awaited me, this crossing is even visible from our balcony, as for years I gazed on the road waiting for him while he used to arrive late, earlier ‘he’ was my husband and then my son. The loveliest moments of my day were when, I used to watch them come home and served them the food, love blossomed in our family like it does in every other family in small and familiar ways.


I saw a bus, coming my way, it seemed speedy and I knew I had to turn I was almost there at the crossing, though a little unaware of what was coming from the other side, realising the big bus approaching me I had to make my moves a little faster, as my brains thought so I turned my scooty towards the lane that lead to my home, but still I had a road in between , the road which I might have conquered if I would have chosen the longer, but the right way and taken the u-turn, but I was close, close to my family, close to my home, as I turned I heard a bouldering sound, I felt a loud gale, but I had turned its way, before I could look at what it was, it had crossed me, the front wheel of the iron road roller, crossed me with a gap of less than an inch, “Often it happens that when we are on the brink of something, we loose control of our selves and our actions go out of our hands”, I was on the brink, I never realized that my accelerator was still in my right hand, a gush of fear, with my eyes wide open and as if no voice came out from my mouth but still it was wide open, just praying in those split seconds that someone could stop that, but I was there all alone on my scooty and my hands on the accelerator , I ran out of time, I never thought that it would come in such a way , I had their love with me, but none of them was around me, I was alone on this road, coming from the wrong side, heading towards my home, with the road roller still moving and honking and my hand on the accelerator, still pushing it, I moved, fear had engulfed me and my spine had the chills I had never experienced before, the sound of the road roller made me feel like being thrown into loud roaring volcano who is pushing everything to erupt, it was deafening , I guess I was deaf at that very moment, I saw the bright orange wheel, I felt my scooty come under it, slowly with every inch of it getting crushed, realizing that I was rite behind it, trapped and the sound dint come out, it was a roar, a deafening roar, smell of charcoal, and then it was a wall, a faded wall and then darkness followed, the deafening roar had vanished, the faded wall had vanished, it was just darkness, no colors no light, and no sound, I wish I could hear myself, but even that wasn’t coming, it was all numb and all black, I couldn’t hear my husband or my son, all I could feel was that, they loved me…….



The rain attacked the city for the next 24 hrs with thunderstorms, lightning and the trees falling, as if the nature had unveiled its terror on humanity.

“She was killed in a ghastly mishap”. That’s what the headings read the next day.

“Vivacious, Gregarious, Glorious” were the words that described this lady. A lady who played the rituals of being the wife, the mother, the friend, so many relationships, she died a death which was never expected! But in life we should always be prepared for the unexpected because it comes as a surprise, sometimes good sometimes bad!!

The newspaper holds a picture of hers, where she is a smiling lady full of life and an enthusiasm to still go on and live and perform her rituals .She died in an accident which would never take place if she would have chosen the right route. Here she leaves behind a big circle of family and friends who mourn her absence.

We humans or Homo sapiens or as commonly it is addressed in the books, “men”, have lost our entities in our very own world which we have created for ourselves, for our survival. There was a time when the lions really ruled the jungles of the world. They were huge in number , then came the species with the brains holding a few organs which allowed them to evolve much faster than the others , the homo sapiens grew in number conquered the world and the lion king slowly became an estranged specie in his own kingdom . He was being hunted and being killed, some preserved its head while others ate it. Now there are only a few of them some thousands, as each of them dies there are evaluations and revaluations counting their numbers, creating news all over the world .

The value of the king of the jungle is now understood by the world as it fears that the coming generations might no be able to know what the lion was! But with we humans the case is different we are the largest populated species in the world all different from other, everyday in so many countries around the world, ‘n’ number of people die, Does anybody has any counts? Does anybody know how much people die of hunger??? Of diseases?? Of tension??? Of heart attacks????? No… half of us just read in the newspaper that people died today , half of us listen in the news channels who are doing there business and making money like honey. Does any body bother who died.. Or for that matter what the person leaves behind while he takes a journey to their respective heaven or hell. Absolutely no one apart from the family of the one gone.

It is understood that death has to come one fine day. But is it supposed to come this way that our peer society has no value for it or for that matter no value for the human race. The problem is simple that we have lost ourselves in this crowded world. We have only a few people around us whom we rely upon and rest come to your place, make strange faces and depart in their own ways “thinking that this had to happen one fine day”.

Madhavi Mahisalkar died on Thursday June 12th 2008 in Nagpur her head was smashed by the rear wheel of the road roller. The driver of the road roller, who had run from the spot, was later caught by the police and has been charged under some sections and the investigations are to be followed. What she leaves behind is a group of people who were so shocked to see the smashed face of the backbone of their family, what she leaves behind is a lesson for so many of us who are careless while we drive, telling us that our lives are precious and there are people who wait for us at the table in our homes for the lunch, all we have to do is to choose the right paths and be careful at the crossings of our roads and our lives.

I hold no relations to this lady, I saw her in the newspaper today, and I felt something. Its difficult to imagine what the Mhaisalkar family must be going through at this moment, but my condolences to them. This feeling of mine has been written with pure heart and no brains, I don’t intend to hurt anyone’s sentiments and feelings by this, neither I say that the incident happened the way it has been described. May be it’s just an effort towards something, which I may not be knowing myself...!!!

Rohan Sharma